A lot of things have been bugging me lately. I know, so what else is new? I’ve just been really disappointed in myself lately. It’s kind of that same feeling where you look at a friend and just kind of shake your head, because if you were them, you’d be doing it so much better. I look at myself in the mirror in the morning, and that’s what I think.

Auburn, look at you. First of all, you’re ugly as hell, but that’s a moot point. You’ve let another fall creep up on you, and are you in college yet? No. You’re quieting your conscience for a while taking these Tech Center classes, is all. Where are you, then? What are you doing with your life? You’re still working. Not minimum wage, but not too awful high above it. You’re twenty years old and no guy has ever shown any interest in you. Ever. The one guy you think you could be happy with is obviously dodging around the fact that you like him. How do you know? Because he can read everything on your face. There’s no way you’re hiding this that.good.

You fail at everything you try. Your webdesign has gotten boring and cliche. You haven’t messed with graphics in months. Your story has been on hold for about a year. You’ve taken up guitar and guess what? You suck. You have no talent that is above and beyond anyone else’s. Your existence right now involves getting up, going to work, working your ass off, coming home, checking your myspace, your blogs, your email, your internet drama series, and then proceeding to goof around and do chores until bed… and then it’s time to do it all over again.

You need to lose weight. You need to get out and do more. You need to get your butt in gear and actually get into school. You need to be more outgoing, more patient, more fun, more attractive, more willing to laugh.

Auburn, you suck.

Crap, crap, crap. Somehow I ended up being WAY behind in my class. Like… four classes behind. And another class is coming out Wednesday. I think tonight and tomorrow I’m going to do two classes a night and get caught up because… well, this is ridiculous. I paid seventy bucks for this damn class… I don’t want to waste it.

I really want to get into photography. My problem? I don’t go anywhere interesting, I don’t see anything cool to photograph. And I know photography is all about what you make of the scene, but seriously? My house? No freaking way.

I did it again. I’m not going to tell you what. You know.

Anyhow, in a couple of days, like I think I might have mentioned while in a bit of a tizzy (what else is new?) I’m getting together on Thursday with Eliza. She wants to know all about what’s going on with Jack. She knows that, a year ago when we last had a chance to really connect, I really really liked him.

Now? Where do I start?! Seriously. There’s too much. There are so many feelings I don’t understand that… well, the more I tell Eliza, the more she’ll be able to help me. She gives hella good advice. Seriously.

Off to ponder the meaning of life and get out of your hair a bit.